I saw a horribly worrying statistic a few months ago - apparently nowadays, more people from the UK visit Thailand than Spain each year. I had a nasty image in my mind of football shirt wearing hoards, the "more earrings than a-levels" brigade dominating the streets of Thailand. Thankfully, this hasn't come true - although we have only been travelling in the North, and haven't visited the more touristic areas in the South, where the tsunami only brought a temporary halt to the onslaught, and where the beaches are yet again full of roasting pink package tour flesh. We are heading there in a couple of months time, so we'll see the real situation then.

Anyway, back to our trip. The heat, humidity, pollution and traffic chaos that greeted us in Bangkok wasn't a great sign, but once we'd found our ludicrously bargain hotel (a 4* place for 10 quid a night), a dip in the pool and a Thai massage, it started looking up. Although Bangkok is normally just a hub to stay in for a few days, and an incredibly noisy and congested one at that, it does have some attractions worth visiting.

The Grand Palace complex and the Emerald Buddha are simply stunning. Impressively sized dragons or giants guard the steps that lead to gilded chedis, colourful pagoda temples decorated with ornate wood carving and bejewelled with glass, china or more gold, the countless images of Buddha himself - it's a fantastic place, with lovely temples, huts, pagodas, you name it, at every turn. And a tranquil oasis away from the traffic of the city. Over the water is the scarcely less impressive Temple of the Dawn, and with the big central park to walk about, Bangkok has just enough culture and peace to keep you going while you rest from the shopping.

Ahhh, the shopping. As well as the huge numbers of shopping malls, the modern temples of Asia to the gods of consumerism, Bangkok also has its street markets, where western tourists are parted from their cash for thousands of different knick-knacks, all rubbish. Fortunately for me, the market we were negotiating was located in the notorious Patpong. Although now sanitised to a certain degree, from the streets outside the bars I still had a satisfying glimpse of white panties glowing in the UV light of the nightclub's interior. This small pleasure allowed me to tolerate Rachael dragging me around shopping for a silk handbag with pretty sequins on it. I did actually argue that I should also be allowed to go "shopping" into the Cheeky Girls Disco - but she was having none of it.

Bridge over the River Kwae

And so after Bangkok, we headed North. We stopped at the pleasant town of Kanchanaburi, where the original Bridge over the River Kwae was built in WWII by allied POWs. The bridge, though destroyed, was re-built, and now stands as a solemn reminder of the really rather horrific stories of that time. The immaculate allied cemetery and the musuem were particularly moving. Thankfully, our mood was lifted by our first really hot Thai curry. The food here is spectacularly good, and I must say I'm coming round to the idea of eye burningly hot cuisine!

POW cemetery, Kanchanaburi

Thailand does have a very well trodden tourist trail, but it is remarkably easy to step off the conveyor belt, and then you're in another world - where no one speaks English, the buses are re-assuringly terrible, and the street food fantastic.

Ancient Thai capital, Sukhothai

We continued north, stopping at the ancient ruins of the old Thai capital at Sukhothai, the pleasant river side town of Phitsanulok, and then Lampang. We had a really good trip to an elephant refuge where elephants in danger are rescued then...er, trained to work for logging companies. Visitors can come and see the elephants, watch them being bathed and fed, and then see them demonstrate the useful skills they have learnt, like lifting logs, moving them about, and playing the xylophone. Yes, the xylophone. And as the 5 piece elephant orchestra started playing, I began to suspect that this "refuge", although it seemed to treat the elephants very well, was playing to the tourist card a bit too much. However, one thing that was obviously beneficial was the elephant hospital, where injured elephants are treated for free. This was home to some unfortunate pachyderms, one of whom had trodden on a landmine, and another who'd lost his trunk in a logging accident. It was really sad actually, seeing the little stump he had, and how he had to eat his food off a specially constructed elephant table. I'd better stop writing about him now, I might honestly cry.

Elephant playing Xylophone!

Eventually, we arrived in Chiang Mai. The capital of the North, where the cool hills of the Burmese border country contain the many Hill Tribes that constitute the main reason for tourists to stop here. Chiang Mai itself is a pleasant old city of temples, and we saw most in a day, with the help of a rented motorcycle, which also took us up to the mountain top temple overlooking the city. We had a couple of days touring around the sites, and the main backpacker areas - full of internet cafes, restaurants promising western comfort food, and tour agencies all competing to take you to the most authentic traditional unspoilt, traditionally traditional hill tribe village, complete with traditional costume, and maybe those women with loads of rings around their necks.

Despite this circus, we booked a tour, and had a lovely 3 days trekking in the hills, made more adventurous by us walking through a small but aggressive forest fire, as well as the fact that we arrived in a village still in shock from the police execution the previous night of some of its inhabitants who were known drug dealers. We also crammed in a ride on an elephant (no xylophones, though), and the tamest "white water" rafter I've ever done, which was more of a scenic trip down the river.

The villages themselves were mercifully free of old women dressed up for the tourists, but they were very basic and poor. I decided to treat some local kids to a few tunes on my ipod, which they loved. I thought this would be a real cultural exchange moment - armed with over a thousand songs all downloaded from Rowley's computer in Hong Kong, I took to my task...and decided to start my introduction from the very pinnacle of popular music. I started to explain how the haunting harmonica solo on Springsteen's "Thunder Road" encapsulated the angst and disillusionment of blue collar America - but they'd already skipped on and seemed far more interested in Britney Spears. I weep for the future of humanity, I really do.

Back in Chiang Mai, we had a night of drinking, in a re-assuringly western pub, with footy on the TV - and treated ourselves to a lasagna. We would be having nothing but rice for a while after this place! We then headed further north, and east. To Chiang Rai, and Chang Sien, where we visited the infamous Golden Triangle - the edgy border area that encapsulates the junction of Burma, Laos, and Thailand. This is the cradle of the world's opium production, and predictably, has seen a lot of trouble of all forms down through the years.

Border of Burma, Thailand, and Laos - Opium Country

On the banks of the mighty Mekong river, we had one last night in Thailand, and then set off the next morning, for Laos.

The Mekong River, and that's a slow boat to China

This travelogue was originally published here